As I flip through the pages of my heavy Principles of Biochemistry with post-it notes sticking out like dead leaves on a tree, just about to fall off, I realize how much I know and how much there is still to learn. I go around helping people with their assignments (you learn more when you teach) and yet, come back to my books to find so much I still have to study.
I have exams from day after tomorrow. Yeah, you calculated that right. My exams start from Sunday and what’s worse is that I have not one but TWO consecutive exams. The fact that its Bio-business and Bio-Inspired Design is just a cherry on the top of the cake that shall be my downfall.

The mean me laughs.
You’re already on your way down, honey
The nice me makes sad whimpering noises.
(I don’t call myself ‘honey‘, no one does unless, well, you’re a Punjabi and that’s what you were named. This ‘honey‘ here just seemed to go with the flow.)

What do I do in a such a state of extreme idleness when faced with a mountain of PPTs to struggle through. Why is it that my brain refuses to focus and adrenaline decides to take a nice, long vacation. What is the point of you, I ask adrenaline as it lounges on a beach chair, sipping orange juice, watching the world go by from some forgotten corner in my cranium seemingly oblivious to the fast approaching exams. Only fake news of exams being postponed seem to jolt it from its deep slumber it seems.

Happy April Fools day.
Maybe they will cancel the exam!

PS-This is more of something random I start thinking between breaks, between pages. One of the ways I’m trying to stay focused as I study for this exam.

Since I’ve mentioned exams so many times this post, allow me to explain. We have 2 CATs (Continuous Assessment Tests? Catch AnyThing? Careful Analysis Test? Catch-y Apocalypse Testing? I don’t know) and a FAT (Final Assessment Test, Yay!). To make the entire system even more tedious, CAT 2 is “Open Book” which is great if you’ve gone through all your notes and PPT print-out a few times and NOT when you stood in line with 7-8 other lazy procrastinators and got the PPTs printed just 3 days ago. Sure, it looks easy but believe me, a lot of people here think CAT 1, regular old memorize-and-puke-on-question-paper exam is far better. As for me? I just need to do well because I know I messed up during CAT1.

The entire paragraph above is basically me giving myself motivation. I know I need to work, and work harder. Not for the marks (this will be a different post all together) but because I want to.

Perhaps this time, with my hundred dead ants scribble in front of me, I’ll not freak out in the middle of a paper to the extent that my brain liquefies and I cant think.

And Oh, look at the time.

“Another all-nighter, another step closer to becoming panda-girl“, the mean me smirks.

The nice me sets the alarm to half an hour later.



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